Mole hills

We started out on the right foot this week as far as resolutions go. Aside from daily photographs, Calvin and I got out and active every single day this week. For me it was at least a quick jog around the block (1 mile) every day, and for Calvin it was a couple of gymnastics classes and free swim added to our usual routine (which was just a single swimming class).

This is all well and good. Of course I signed him for a couple of gymnastics classes on well-used, probably filthy equipment surrounded by scads of other kids right in the middle of a flu outbreak (sometimes I question my planning), but as it turns out it wasn't the germs I needed to worry about so much. Actually, what had me second guessing the whole affair was his immediate pronouncement upon exiting the gym after the second class that "those boys are mean." Apparently throughout the class the boys were calling names, using ridiculous words (Calvin's term, not mine, for their use of such phrases as "diaper-face" and "poop-head"), and pushing, shoving, and the like. Although I'm pretty sure his feelings weren't hurt, he was uncomfortable and wasn't sure he wanted to go back. Calvin, being amongst the smallest, was the brunt of much of the behavior, and he also said that the teachers were unable to control at least two of the boys.

And so it begins.

I know a lot of parents believe that it's good for kids to handle conflict on their own, good for them to be exposed to the rougher side of childhood socializing, but this is a view with which I have never agreed. If I were attempting to learn a new skill I would not seek training from someone as novice as myself, so why would I want my six-year-old to learn social skills from another six-year-old? I want him to learn the finer points of socializing from people who already know them, like knowing that it's not okay to push someone just because. Not to mention that the skills he is learning now are preparing him for adulthood, and since most adults finding themselves unwittingly in a shoving match would either walk away or seek help, I can't see the purpose behind forcing him to stick it out through a situation in which he feels unsafe.

Of course there's also the whole running away from problems issue—don't be a quitter, and all that jazz. Those are definitely useful lessons or skills to learn, but gymnastics is brand new for Calvin, not something he's pursuing as a life goal, and it's intended to be purely fun. If it's not going to be fun then what's the point? And no I don't want to be the over-protective or coddling parent, but there's something deeper at stake here, I think, and that's trust: my trust that he can make this decision for himself, and his trust that I will give him whatever support he needs to make that decision and follow through with it. Jon and I spend a lot of energy trying extend to Calvin the same respect that we would extend to other adults. We're not perfect at this by any means, and we are always learning, but this is what we try to do, and part of that is giving him room to make his own choices and to live with the consequences, be they positive or negative.

All this over a mole hill.

Part of it is just my usual response to the general "what about socialization?" question that all homeschoolers will hear at least once in their lives, and the rest is really just me thinking out loud (in type). Jon and I have talked about it, and we talked a little with Calvin, too, but no ultimate decision has been made. It would appear that my plan right now is to ignore the situation, but really I'm just waiting for Calvin to think about it in his own time. The awesome thing is that the first gymnastics class of the week is a small class with other members of our homeschooling group (see picture below), so we can go to that class then talk again and see how he feels about class number two. And the more awesome thing is that I can trust him to think about it and decide for himself, and will support him in whatever decision he makes.

That, and knowing that after week one (two?), at least some of our resolutions are still in place.

Resolve

I don't usually do new years resolutions. There are a lot of reasons for this, the least of which is not my inability to follow through with them. I do set goals; last year I planned to read 60 books, run in a 10K, and successfully get back to making our family's bread products. As of now I've finished 61 books, run a 10K (though not in a 10K), and am still buying all things yeasty. 1.5 for 3 isn't too bad, I guess.

In any case, I've never really felt the draw to set new years resolutions, but this year I'm feeling ambitious. How is that even possible? Our Christmas decorations are still up, barely half of the laundry is done, and the only reason we had dinner tonight is that we had enough cheese left from the holidays to conjure up a vegetarian dish on the fly, yet somehow I'm feeling ambitious? Yes. In November I joined some friends in challenging each other to run at least one mile every day between Thanksgiving and New Years. I created a chart and got jogging, and not only did I complete the challenge, I improved my time and my distance enough to get courageous, and announced to my fellow streakers (as in holiday running streak, not what you're thinking), that I'd be training for a half marathon this year. Goal number one.

So that got me thinking about the whole resolution thing, and I decided that there are plenty of areas in which I need good solid goals. I thrive on the whole list making thing. I'm one of those people who will add a chore to the list after I've done it just so I can cross it off. It's a trait that is rubbing off, and I often find random lists with item such as "eat lunch", "play with Legos", and "hug blanket" floating around the house. In fact, when Calvin starts dragging his feet on certain chores or projects, all we have to do is make a schedule for the day with cross-offable items. There is value in having well-defined and achievable goals, and being able to mark progress and accomplishment.

So for this year I actually have a number of goals, one of which is to run in that half marathon (13.1 miles), but I'll also be picking up the 365 photo-a-day challenge again, and the 60 books in a year challenge, and there's a 25 day home purging and organization challenge we need to try—numbers, numbers, numbers, because tallying accomplishments is almost as great as crossing items off a list.

And how about some homeschooling goals? I've actually done really well over the past few months, finding the delicate balance between too much scheduling and not enough, so my real goal is to keep on keeping on. But then there are some things that have gone neglected, like exercise, so I need to get us out and active every day. Calvin's goals are more lofty: he plans to learn all about ancient Greece and Rome, he wants to become "proficient in nutrition and cooking" (his words, not mine, although I'm sure they are an amalgamation of earlier quotes from me), and he plans to read the entire Redwall series.

And I think another goal of mine will be update here a little more often. Happy new year. Again.

2012

The end of the year makes me both nostalgic and hopeful. I long to look back at the days that have gone by while also heaping upon myself great, or insane, goals and wishes for the coming year. So here's a look back at some of the things that we did this past year, which has served in part as a reminder of all those wonderful things, but also as a reminder to myself I get back to it, since the past month or so has been a little slack around here.

Happy new year.

January 2012: Snap Circuits, Legos, and lots and lots of books, and we were just closing up our look at human evolution and venturing into human migration and the history of civilization. Calvin started classes through our homeschooling group on Friday afternoons, and toward the end of the month we went to Disney World.

The North American International Auto Show

February 2012: I comment on the strangely warm weather in several posts, longing for snow. When it finally came, it was for only the second, and what would be the last, time all year, and there wasn't much of it, but we built a snowman. We were out of order, getting an overview of world civilizations before starting at the beginning. Calvin had an MIR, went to his first true musical, and started getting an allowance; we adopted Iris, and our blog images got bigger.

March 2012: We said goodbye to our Dachshund, Moose, with a lot of heartache. Warm weather came early, and with it a tornado that hit the neighborhood nextdoor. We went museuming. Calvin was in his first stage play, he fell in love with the My Father's Dragon trilogy and read it umpteen times, and he filled in his first journal, prompting what is probably my favorite post of the year.

April: Spring. There was fascination with the Titanic, and a museum visit to appease, but mostly history took us to ancient Egypt. There was a big Lego sorting and organizing project, and art.

May 2012: a month of travel, to Holland (Michigan) and Chicago. Plus Calvin performed in his second play (The Wizard of Oz), and we completely alterred our homeschooling approach.

June 2012: Most notably, Calvin turned six. The rest, like his mid-year recital, or learning about gravity, or taking a quick trip up north, was just icing on the cake. Oh, and we raised butterflies.

July 2012: Camping on Lake Michigan, biking around Mackinac Island, watching the fireworks in Harbor Springs; swimming at Independence Lake, hiking, biking, and playing in the sprinkler; three trips to the zoo, two to the Natural History Museum, and one to Greenfield Village; the Rolling Sculptures Auto Show and the Ann Arbor Art Fair. How were we ever this busy?

August 2012: To Niagara Falls and Stratford! Were we ever home this summer? In other news...it was hot.

September 2012: No first day of school here, just good old standard homeschooling. What? Another trip to Chicago, and football season arrived, along with some cooler, wetter weather.

October 2012: Time just flying by. Back from Chicago, headed up north; book reviews, a science experiment, a trip into history; and of cousre, Halloween, my favorite time of the year.

November 2012: An election, one final trip to the zoo for the year, and Thanksgiving.

December 2012: It wasn't that long ago, but it had Calvin in one play and watching one play, a trip to Greenfield Village for Holiday Nights, a winter piano recital, and all the usual trappings of a holiday season, even snow.

Saint Nicholas

As any parent will tell you, things can change in the blink of an eye, as did our son's toothy smile in a brief moment of clumsy exhuberance yesterday at HAA. One fall (and I don't mean the season) and those two front teeth will never quite look the same. Of course, eventually they will fall out anyhow, but loose teeth give a parent some time to get used to the upcoming awdward grin and the lisp that accompanies it. Our change was a bit more sudden, a bit more bloody, and required an unexpected visit to the dentist. The teeth are still firmly rooted, though, and the dentist assures us that, not only will there be no permanent proglems, they might even slowly slide back into place. That would be good, because there are cookies to eat this season, and a play to perform in next week, lisp or no.

With an injury like that of course come tears and lots of hugs. I will say that for once I understood the "it takes a village" mantra, as the other mothers at HAA descended upon us with ice, phone calls to dentists, and a multitude of reassurances. With children of all ages involved in a homeschool gathering, there are mothers at all stages of parenthood available for advice, those who know what you are going through right now, and those who have been there before.

Calvin rebounded amazingly quickly. Though the dentist promised at least a week of needing soft foods and pain medication, as of yesterday morning it was like nothing had ever happened. Which was good because, or possibly encourage by, yesterday marked our annual celebration of Saint Nicholas Day. Oranges, pajamas, coins, and one gift (a Christmas felt set) in the ol' wooden shoe, Christmas songs galore, and dinner with family. The dates didn't align with the weekend this year so we're a few days off the official target, and we dropped the traditional fare for a more flavorful menu, but it was still the pre-party of our season, the kick-off to a landslide of events that will continue snowballing until they explode some time around New Years and we are left with the dark days of winter and an empty calendar stretching out before us for months.

Two weeks

Last week: the weather was pretty, the leaves really started turning, Jon got older so we baked him his favorite (pumpkin cheesecake) and there was a party thrown by his boss, then Calvin and I headed up north for a few days to take in the colors.

This week: up north we experienced a veritable monsoon, we discovered that Calvin outgrew all his winter pants sometime over the last three weeks, we bird watched; back home we ran an experiment in measuring friction, we beat the Yankees, my brother surprised us by coming home for the weekend, and we beat Michigan State.

That's the short of it, and really the long as well.